看笑话学英语 – 经典段子加爆笑翻译,其二

21、A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
公车站呀公车停。火车站呀火车停。俺桌上有个工作站…

22、If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
如果4/5的人在忍受腹泻的痛苦,那剩下1/5咋回事?很享受吗?

23、Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
无论,在任何情况下,永远,不要在一个夜晚,同时吃,安眠药,和通便灵。

24、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
上帝瞅着咱们呢,大伙好歹喜感点吧!

25、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
直译:知识就是说你知道西红柿是一种水果;智慧就好似不要把它放进水果沙拉里。
意译a:知识就是告诉你说应该把鸡蛋放进篮子,智慧则是叫你不要把所有鸡蛋都放进一个篮子。
意译b:所谓知识就是知道韩少和小四都属于80后,但智慧告诉你这终还是男女有别~

26、I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
老子拼死拼活奋斗到食物链顶端,不是为了成为一个素食者。

27、How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
直译:一根火柴能点着整片森林,一盒火柴也生不起个营火,这咋回事!
意译:想当年哥戴套都能让人怀孕,看今朝叔竟然去看男科

28、If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
要是我听你的,咱俩就都2B了。

29、 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
海豚可聪明了你知道不?只要驯养几个星期,它们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼吃了。

30、A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
a. 下棋,我不行;玩跆拳道,电脑不行!
b. 下象棋电脑把我玩得团团转,拳击我能把机箱踹得七零八散!

31、I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
瞅见个姐姐,胸前衣服上写着“Guess”…俺就问了一句:“…隆过?”

32、 Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
孩子就是:你先花2年,教丫们走路和说话。然后你再花16年教丫们坐定和闭嘴。

33、Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
为什么当你说天上有400亿星星时他不怀疑,却偏要检查你所说的“油漆未干”?

34、Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
a. 宁愿闭嘴当傻瓜,也别学乌鸦乱呱呱。
b. 越解释越SB,不说话最NB。
c. 剽悍的人生不需要解释
d. 宁可闭口被人当SB,也不张口解释所有疑。

35、A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
银行就是当你证明了你不需要钱的时候可以借钱给你的地方

36、Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
a.对你的问题哈哈大笑吧,别人都在这么做。

b. 你有什么不开心的?说出来给大家开心开心。

37、The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
a. 我知道没人在我脑子里跟我聊天,但那些话真TM有用!
意译:我幻想的低吟不一定是真的,但足够让我意淫

38、A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
a. 无愧于心哈?记性不好吧?
意译b: 自从那次在人妖身边醒来,每次去夜店我都提醒自己“一定要戴眼镜……”
c. 意识清醒了,意味着不堪回首了。

39、Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
a. 所谓的好姑娘,咳!就是还没被群众抓到的JP女·····
b. 想立牌坊就得会装

40、He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
临危忽然微笑的那谁,定是找到替罪羊鸟~

 

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