猫扑上的抽筋笑话 [ December 1st, 2008 ] Posted in » 笑话精品

 

1.有一天小明手上打着石膏,
老师问:你的手怎么了
小明说:断掉了
老师说:为什么?
小明说:因为我太懒了
老师说:太懒手会断?
小明说:我走在路上,鞋子跑进一颗石头,
可是我懒的用手弄,
就抱着电线杆抖着脚让石头掉出来,
路人看了以为我触电就用木棍打我的手
所以……………..
老师:…………

2.在大陆做生意的台商,
由于家眷都在台湾,
所以每个晚上都喜欢跑声色场所。
有一天他不幸被公共安全专家逮到,
台胞证被盖了个“淫虫”两个大字。
他很不高兴,
于是透过关系花了一些钱,
要把这着不雅的名词去除。
过了一星期,
朋友告诉他办好了。
他想,在大陆只要有钱哪有办不到的事?
他接到台胞证后兴冲冲打开一看,
里面赫然盖了个三个大字:
非淫虫。

后来他透过更有力的人士想要把这
非淫虫
三个字弄掉,
因为他觉得这三个字还是不雅,
所以这次交代一定要把这件事解决。
因为下个月他就要回台湾了….
朋友也跟他再三保证,
一定没问题,
只是礼数绝不可少。
又过了一星期,
朋友来找他,对他说:这次真的办好了!
他赶紧把台胞证接过来一看,
上面写着:
非洲淫火虫

3.甲乙丙三人一起出游,甲感冒了……
晚上,大家同睡一床,甲睡中间。
半夜…甲打了一个大喷涕,
乙丙整个脸上都是甲的结晶。
乙丙:下次要通知我们……
过了半个时辰,
甲:注意了…
乙丙闻言赶紧钻入棉被中,
并确定与外界没有连通…
结果,甲放了个屁。

Read More …

星辰变

看这本书花了两个星期的空余时间。消遣一下还可以。
留贴纪念。

June 28th, 2008 | Leave a Comment

高考语文中的错误答题一瞥

高考完后又是中考,考题千奇百怪,答卷也五花八门。真佩服现在的学生啊,思维跳脱,天马行空,和我们那时候的循规蹈矩,差别太大了!看一组语文试卷中的填空题吧——

笑翻了!!!

  1,_____,为伊消得人憔悴
  同学答:宽衣解带终不悔  
  (正解为“衣带渐宽终不悔”,偶承认这个是思想有问题)
  2,问渠哪得清如许,_____
  同学答:心中自有清泉在
  (正解为“唯有源头活水来”,咱还是和水粘了点边)
  3,何当共剪西窗烛,_____
  同学答:夫妻对坐到天明
  (语文老师阅卷时笑晕,后在课堂时说此事,又晕!正解为“却话巴山夜雨时”)
  4,蚍蜉撼大树,_____
  同学答:一动也不动
  (正解为“可笑不自量”,一动也不动,赫赫,很符合事实阿)
  5,君子成人之美,_____
  同学答:小人夺人所爱
  (直接晕死)
  6,穷则独善其身,____
  同学答:富则妻妾成群
   (正解:达则兼济天下)
  7,_____,天下谁人不识君
  同学答:只要貌似萨达姆
  8,后宫佳丽三千人,_____
  同学答:铁棒也会磨成针 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
  (正解为“三千宠爱在一身”)
  9,身有彩凤双飞翼,_____
  同学答:拔毛凤凰不如鸡
  还有个同学答:夫妻双双把家还
  (正解为“心有灵犀一点通”)
  10,东边日出西边雨,_____
  同学答:床头打架床尾和
  还有个同学答:上错花轿嫁对郎
  11,_____,糟糠之妻不下堂
  同学答:结发之夫不上床
  (语文老师暴怒!)
  12,但愿人长久,_____
  同学答:一颗永流传
  (当时狂笑,现在觉得挺经典的,正解为“千里共婵娟”)
  13,西塞山前白鹭飞,_____
  同学答:东村河边爬乌龟
  (对的挺工整的)
  14,我劝天公重抖擞,_____
  同学答:天公对我吼三吼
  (正解为“不拘一格降人才”,龚自珍)
  15,天生我才必有用,_____
  同学答:关键时刻显神通
  又有同学答:老鼠儿子会打洞
  (办公室的语文老师集体毫无形象的狂笑)
  16,天若有情天亦老,_____
  同学答:人不风流枉少年!
  (正解为“月若无恨月长圆”李贺《金铜仙人辞汉歌》 )
  17,洛阳亲友如相问,_____
  同学答:请你不要告诉他
  (正解为“一片冰心在玉壶”)
  18,期末考试出对联,上联是:英雄宝刀未老
  初三同学对下联为:老娘丰韵尤存
  19,良药苦口利于病,_____
  同学答:不吃才是大傻瓜
  人生自古谁无死,_____
  同学答:只是死的有先后
  (结局:家长会后被老师留下来训话……)
  20,床前明月光,_____
  同学答:李白睡得香
  21,管中窥豹,_____
  同学答:吓我一跳
  (哈哈哈!正解为“可见一斑”)
  22,_____,飞入寻常百姓家
  同学答:康佳彩霸电视机
  23,葡萄美酒夜光杯,_____
  同学答:金钱美人一大堆
  24,_____,路上行人欲断魂
  初一学生的杰作:半夜三更鬼敲门

高考语文中的错误答题一瞥

June 26th, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Account Lockout Tools

After you determine the pattern for the account lockouts and narrow down your scope to a specific client computer or member server, you should gather detailed information about all of the programs and services that are running on that computer. Some of the information that you should obtain includes:

Mapped network drives

Logon scripts that map network drives

RunAs shortcuts

Accounts that are used for service account logons

Processes on the client computers

Programs that may pass user credentials to a centralized network program or middle-tier application layer

The following sections discuss the tools that you can use to help you gather information from the network environment.

The LockoutStatus.exe Tool

The LockoutStatus.exe displays information about a locked out account. It does this by gathering account lockout-specific information from Active Directory. The following list describes the different information that is displayed by the tool:

DC Name: Displays all domain controllers that are in the domain.

Site: Displays the sites in which the domain controllers reside.

UserState: Displays the status of the user and whether that user is locked out of their account.

Bad Pwd Count: Displays the number of bad logon attempts on each domain controller. This value confirms the .domain controllers that were involved in the account lockout.

Last Bad Pwd: Displays the time of the last logon attempt that used a bad password.

Pwd Last Set: Displays the value of the last good password or when the computer was last unlocked.

Lockout Time: Displays the time when the account was locked out.

Orig Lock: Displays the domain controller that locked the account (the domain controller that made the originating write to the LockoutTime attribute for that user).

Where to Obtain the LockoutStatus.exe Tool

LockoutStatus.exe is included with the ALTools.exe package that is available at “Account Lockout and Management Tools” on the Microsoft Web site.

How to Install the LockoutStatus.exe Tool

To install the LockoutStatus.exe tool, install the ALTools package on your domain controller.

How to Use the LockoutStatus.exe Tool

To run the LockoutStatus.exe tool and display information about a locked out user account:

1.

Double-click LockoutStatus.exe.

2.

On the File menu, click Select target.

3.

Type the user name whose lockout status on the enterprise’s domain controllers you want information about.

The following figure displays an example where two domain controllers have a badPwdCount value of 5, which is also the bad password threshold. One domain controller is the PDC operations master, and the other domain controller is the authenticating domain controller. These two domain controllers are displayed because of password chaining from the authenticating domain controller to the PDC.

Figure 2: The LockoutStatus.exe Tool

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The ALockout.dll Tool

The ALockout.dll tool and the Appinit.reg script are included in the ALTools package. ALockout.dll is a logging tool that may help you determine the program or process that is sending the incorrect credentials in an account lockout scenario. The tool attaches itself to a variety of function calls that a process might use for authentication. The tool then saves information about the program or process that is making those calls into the Systemroot\Debug\Alockout.txt file. The events are time stamped so that you can match them to the events that are logged in either the Netlogon log files or the Security event log files.

You can use Appinit.reg to initialize the .dll file. This file provides no other functionality.

Note:

Microsoft does not recommend that you use this tool on servers that host network programs or services. You should not enable ALockout.dll on Exchange servers because the ALockout.dll tool may prevent the Exchange store from starting.

Important:

Before you install the ALockout.dll tool on any mission-critical computer, make a full backup copy of the operating system and any valuable data.

For more information, see “Errors Installing Exchange Server with CleanSweep” on the Microsoft Knowledge Base .

In most account lockout scenarios, you should install ALockout.dll on client computers. Use the information that is stored in both the Netlogon log file and the Security event log to determine the computers from which the incorrect credentials are being sent that are locking out the user’s account. When you install the ALockout.dll tool on the client computer that is sending the incorrect credentials, the tool logs the process that is sending the incorrect credentials.

Where to Obtain the ALockout.dll Tool

ALockout.dll is included with the ALTools.exe package that is available at “Account Lockout and Management Tools” on the Microsoft Web site .

How to Install the ALockout.dll Tool

There two versions of the ALockout.dll file. One version of the file is for computers that are running a Windows 2000 operating system, and the other version of the file is for computers that are running a Windows XP operating system. View the Readme.txt file that is included with the ALTools package.

To install ALockout.dll

1.

On the computer that has generated account lockout error messages in the Security event log, copy both the ALockout.dll and Appinit.reg files to the Systemroot\System32 folder .

2.

Double-click the Appinit.reg file to run the script. When you do this, the ALockout.dll file is registered and can begin providing information.

3.

Restart the computer to complete the installation.

How to Remove the ALockout Tool

To remove the ALockout.dll file from the computer

1.

At a command prompt, type regsvr32 /u alockout.dll.

2.

Delete the Alockout.dll value that is under the following registry key:

HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Microsoft\Windows NT\CurrentVersion\

Windows AppInit_DLLs

After you delete the Alockout.dll value, the AppInit_DLLs registry key is blank.

3.

Restart the computer.

4.

Delete the ALockout.dll file from the Systemroot/System32 folder.

How to Use the ALockout.dll Tool

You should use the ALockout.dll tool with Netlogon logging and security auditing. To use the ALockout.dll tool:

1.

Wait for an account to lock out on the computer.

2.

When an account is locked out, the ALockout.txt file is created in the Systemroot\Debug folder.

3.

Compare event time stamps in ALockout.txt with the time stamps in both the Netlogon log files and the Security event log files. When you do this, you can determine the process that is causing the lockouts.

You can use the ALockout.dll tool if you have already set up Netlogon logging, as well as Kerberos and logon auditing on the local computer. ALockout.dll does not interfere with any other logging or event generation.

The ALoInfo.exe Tool

If account lockouts seem to happen most frequently after a user is forced to change their password, you may want to determine which users’ passwords are about to expire. You can use the ALoInfo.exe tool to display all user account names and the password age for those user accounts. This will allow you to use the ALockout.dll tool and other account lockout tools to set up the tools prior to the initial account lockout. You can also obtain a list of all local services and startup account information by using the ALoInfo.exe tool.

Note:

You can also use the SecDump tool to display password expiration information in a Windows NT Server 4.0 domain. You can download this tool from the SystemTools Web site . Note that Web addresses can change, so you might be unable to connect to the Web site or sites mentioned here.

Where to Obtain the ALoInfo.exe Tool

The ALoInfo.exe file is included with the ALTools.exe package that is available at “Account Lockout and Management Tools” on the Microsoft Web site .

How to Install the ALoInfo.exe Tool

To install the ALoInfo.exe tool, install the ALTools package on your domain controller. The ALTools package contains the ALoInfo.exe tool.

How to Use the ALoInfo.exe Tool

You can use ALoInfo.exe at a command prompt with either of the following methods:

To display an accounts password ages from a domain controller, at a command prompt, type the following:

aloinfo /expires /server:Domain_Controller_Name

To display all local service startup account information and mapped drive information for a user who is currently logged on, at a command prompt, type the following command:

aloinfo /stored /server:Computer_Name

You can redirect the output of ALoInfo.exe to a text file and then sort the results to determine which users may be involved in the account lockout. This information can also be stored for later analysis.

The AcctInfo.dll Tool

You can use the AcctInfo.dll tool to add new property pages to user objects in the Active Directory Users and Computers MMC Snap-in. You can use these property pages to help isolate and troubleshoot account lockouts and to reset a users password on a domain controller in that user’s local site.

AcctInfo.dll displays the following user account information that you may be able to use to identify and resolve account lockout issues:

Last time the password was set

When the password will expire

User Account Control Raw Value and Decode

Time the account was locked out

If the account is locked out now, when it will be unlocked

Security identifier (SID) of the account, and its SIDHistory

Globally unique identifier (GUID) of the account

These account properties:

Last Logon

Last Logoff

Last Bad Logon Time

Logon Count

Bad Password Count

You can also use the AcctInfo.dll tool to obtain the domain password information (expiration, lockout time, and so on). You can type the user’s computer name in the tool, and then reset the user’s password on a domain controller in that user’s site.

Note:

Because of replication latency, domain controllers may store different information about the same user account. AcctInfo.dll displays information that is retrieved from a single domain controller.

Where to Obtain the AcctInfo.dll Tool

The AcctInfo.dll tool is included in the ALTools.exe package that is available at “Account Lockout and Management Tools” on the Microsoft Web site .

How to Install the AcctInfo.dll Tool

On the computer where you want to run Active Directory Users and Computers MMC Snap-in:

1.

Copy the AcctInfo.dll file to the System32 folder.

2.

At a command prompt, type regsvr32 acctinfo.dll, and then press ENTER.

The AcctInfo.dll file is registered and is displayed on a user’s property sheet in the Active Directory Users and Computers MMC Snap-in after you follow these steps.

To use the Account Lockout Status button in the tool, verify that LockoutStatus.exe is in the Systemroot\System32 folder. If LockoutStatus.exe is not installed in this location, this button is unavailable.

How to Use the AcctInfo.dll Tool

To use the AcctInfo.dll tool, open the Active Directory Users and Computers MMC, right-click a user, click Properties, and then click Additional Account Info. An example of the information that is provided by AcctInfo.dll is shown in the following figure.

Figure 3: Main Property Box

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The following figure displays the domain password policy information that you can view to determine the password policy that applies to the domain controller.

Figure 4: Domain Password Policy

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Change Password on a Domain Controller in the User’s Site

The AcctInfo.dll tool allows you to increase the functionality of the Active Directory Users and Computers MMC by adding the ability to reset a user’s password in that user’s local site. When you reset the password in the remote site, you avoid replication delays that can occur before that user logs on.

When you reset the password, you can also unlock the account and set the User must change password value. These options are in the Change Password On a DC In The Users Site box as displayed in the following figure.

Figure 5: Change Password On a DC In The Users Site

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How to Remove the AcctInfo.dll Tool

To remove the AcctInfo.dll tool, delete the AcctInfo.dll file from the Systemroot/System32 folder, and then type the following command at a command prompt:

regsvr32 /u acctinfo.dll

The EventCombMT.exe Tool

You can use the EventCombMT.exe tool to gather specific events from event logs from several different computers into one central location. You can configure EventCombMT.exe to search for events and computers. Some specific search categories are built into the tool, such as account lockouts. Note that the account lockouts category is preconfigured to include events 529, 644, 675, 676, and 681.

Figure 6: The EventCombMT.exe Tool

Art Image

Where to Obtain the EventCombMT.exe Tool

The EventCombMT.exe tool is included in the ALTools.exe package that is available at “Account Lockout and Management Tools” on the Microsoft Web site .

How to Install the EventCombMT.exe Tool

You do not need to install this tool separately. When you install ALTools on the domain controller, EventCombMT.exe is also installed to the directory you specified during setup.

How to Use the EventCombMT.exe Tool

To use the EventCombMT.exe tool, open the folder you specified during setup for ALTools, double-click EventCombMT.exe, click the Searches menu, click Built in searches, and then click Account lockouts. When you do this, the events that will be pulled from the event logs are automatically displayed in the tool. These events are from all of the domain controllers in your environment. In addition to 529, 644, 675, and 681, type 12294 in the Event Ids box, and then click Search. The tool then searches the computers for these events, and then saves them to a .txt file that you specify.

The NLParse.exe Tool

Because Netlogon log files may become more than 10 MB in size, you may want to parse the files for the information that you want to view. You can use the NLParse.exe tool to parse Netlogon log files for specific Netlogon return status codes. The output from this tool is saved to a comma-separated values (.csv) file that you can open in Excel to sort further.

Note:

The return codes that are specific to account lockouts are 0xC000006A and 0xC0000234.

The following figure displays the interface for the NLParse.exe tool.

Figure 7: Netlogon-Parse Return Status Codes

Art Image

Where to Obtain the NLParse.exe Tool

The NLParse.exe tool is included in the ALTools.exe package that is available at “Account Lockout and Management Tools” on the Microsoft Web site .

How to Install the NLParse.exe Tool

You do not need to install this tool separately; when you install ALTools on the domain controller, NLParse.exe is also installed.

How to Use the NLParse.exe Tool

To use the NLParse.exe tool, open the folder you specified during setup for ALTools, double-click Nlparse.exe, click Open to open the Netlogon.log file that you want to parse, select the check boxes for the status codes that you want to search for, and then click Extract. After you do this, view the output from the NLParse.exe tool. Typically, you may want to look at both the 0xC000006A and 0xC0000234 code statuses to determine from where the lockouts are coming.

The FindStr.exe Tool

You can also use the FindStr.exe tool to parse Netlogon log files. FindStr.exe is a command-line tool that you can use to parse several Netlogon.log files at the same time. After you gather the Netlogon.log files from several domain controllers, extract information about a specific user account from the files (user1, error code 0xC000006A, or error code0xC0000234). You can use this tool to help you obtain output about a user, computer, or error code in the Netlogon.log files.

Where to Obtain the FindStr.exe Tool

The FindStr.exe tool is included in the default installation of Windows 2000, Windows XP, and the Windows Server 2003 family operating systems. No additional installation or configuration is required for the FindStr.exe tool.

How to Use the FindStr.exe Tool

To use the FindStr.exe tool, rename the Netlogon.log files, and then save the files to one folder. To parse all of the Netlogon log files, type the following command at a command prompt:

FindStr /I User1 *netlogon*.log >c:\user1.txt

June 24th, 2008 | Leave a Comment

几个在线创建卡通图片的网站

如果你不想在线使用自己的真实形象,为什么不为自己创建一个卡通形象呢?下面的站点可以帮助你在线创建自己喜欢的卡通形象。

1.Portrait Illustration Maker - 制作个性化的卡通头像,可用于博客和其他站点。

2.WeeWorld - 非常卡哇伊的卡通形象。

3.Meez - 如果你喜欢3D形象的话,Meez是不错的选择。

4.Yahoo!Avatars - 可以制作Yahoo Messenger的卡通形象。

5.BeFunky - NextCool 曾经在“6种方法让你的图片富有生气”一文中介绍过的一个网站。

6.Buscar Messenger

7.Cartoon Me - 只需要上传自己的照片,剩下的事情交给 Cartoon Me,轻松制作卡通风格的自己。

June 23rd, 2008 | Leave a Comment

超强的语录

1、二农戏猪
2、干掉鸟人我就是天使!
3、帅有个屁用!到头来还不是被卒吃掉!
4、好好活着,因为我们会死很久!
5、有没有听过“大猪说有,小猪说没有”的故事?
6、女友问我她死了我会怎样我坚定的说:我不会独活(再找一个活)她大悦~!
7、人工智能和天然愚蠢无法相提并论——因为我们主张纯天然。
8、在教堂听讲经的时候我们应该保持肃静,打扰别人睡觉是很不礼貌的。
9、陪聊,提供夜间上门服务。(一个墓志铭)
10、人又不聪明,还学人家秃顶!!
11、你是电,李四光,你是唯一的神话…
12、笨人的可怕之处并不在其笨,而在其自作聪明。
13、我总在牛a与牛c之间徘徊。
14、不怕被人利用,就怕你没用。
15、鄙视我的人这么多,你算老几?
16、锄禾日当午,弯弓射大雕
17、秀发去无踪,头屑更出众!
18、没什么事不要找我,有事更不用找我
19、宁和明白人打一架,不跟sb说句话!
20、大女人不可一日无权,小女人不可一日无钱!
21、天若负我,我便昊;尔等若负我,我便晃!
22、春色满园关不住,我诱红杏出墙来。
23、就这样让你舒服,脱下你常拉的裤。
24、人生自古谁无死,啊个拉屎不用纸。
25、不蒸馒头争口气行吗?
26、他的刀是冷的,剑是冷的,心是凉的,血是冷的,靠,这人不死了吗?
27、生的伟大,死在花下!
28、如果输了今生那么我也不要来世。
29、我爱你!关你什么事?
30、女人是制造人类的工具,男人是使用工具的人类。
31、拿份报纸上厕所,俺是读书人。
32、再牛b的肖邦,也弹不出老子的悲伤!
33、诸葛亮出山前也没带过兵啊,你们凭啥要我有工作经验!
34、废话是人际关系的第一句。
35、只要锄头舞的好,那有墙角挖不倒?
36、可以不好好学习,但决不能不好好复习。
37、从一个朋友那里学到一句话:送你十个字——有他妈多远,滚他妈多远~记得第一次他对我们一群人说这个时,就看到所有人都在下面颁指头数是不是十个字.
38、对付以默不作声来掩饰自己无知的人的最好方法就是以其人之道还治其人之身。
39、我第一次时很紧张,他一直要我温柔地放松,接着插入我身体,那里在流血,我痛得喊不出话来,这才明白……献血是这样的!
40、连广告也信,读书读傻了吧!
41、想污染一个地方有两种方法:垃圾,或是钞票!
42、便秘了的原因是地球引力太小。
43、系统居然怀疑我灌水,我身边又没有水龙头。哦…明白了,身上有一个…
44、我不知道是我上了大学 还是大学上了我。
45、大部分人一辈子只做三件事:自欺、欺人、被人欺。
46、痛苦本来就是清醒的人才能拥有的享受…
47、有人说生了孩子就不会痛经了,那就生一个吧!
48、花钱越多,离床越近。
49、戒烟容易,戒你太难!
50、要在江湖混,最好是光棍!!
51、插人家洞的是插头,有洞被人家插的是插座!
52、 要挑熟女,裙子好揪。
53、有钱人终成眷属。
54、问世间情为何物?一物降一物。
55、不要和我比懒,我懒得和你比。
56、我是耶稣他儿子,椰子~!
57、大学就是大概学学!
58、我左青龙,右白虎,肩膀纹个米老鼠。
59、bmw是别摸我,msn是摸死你!
60、生活可以将就,生活也可以讲究!
61、别人的钱财乃我的身外之物。
62、早上长睡不起;晚上视睡如归!
63、我这个人最老实。从不说谎话。这句除外。
64、不要说别人脑子有病,脑子有病的前提是必须有个脑子。
65、我最近真的很忙,甚至一天都很难保证有16小时的睡眠!
66、别洗它,要不是这些泥,这破车早就散架了。
67、天灵灵,地灵灵,再来一个冰淇凌。
68、岁寒三友——火锅、白菜、热被窝。
69、本无意与众不同,怎奈何品位出众!
70、大师兄,听说二师兄的肉,比师傅的都贵了~~
71、生时何需久睡,死后自会长眠。
72、我希望有一天我能用鼠标双击我的钱包,然后选中一张100元,按住“ctrl-c”接着不停的“ctrl-v”…。
73、女为悦己者容男为悦己者穷!
74、教授在讲台上讲有机化学高分子。他在黑板上先画了个“酞键“,对大家说,“这是一个‘太监’,我们给再他按个‘甲基吧’。”.
75、秃驴,敢跟贫道抢师太?
76、男人所说的内在美,指的是胸罩里面,而不是内心。
77、我对坐我旁边的哥们说~~你离天才只有一步之隔~~
78、是金子,总会花光的;是镜子,总会反光的…
79、谁能90分钟不射~~中国国家足球队~~
80、天赐你一双翅膀,就应该被红烧…
81、犯贱是普遍真理,你我只是其中之一
82、男人长的帅有个屁用呀?到银行能用脸刷卡吗?
83、都说男人有钱就变坏,[脏话]我都当了二十多年的好人了!
84、脸先着地,无力回天。
85、一女人对一男人说:来我家吧,我下面给你吃。
86、不是你不笑,一笑粉就掉!
87、高是高,是草包;矮是矮,经得踩;瘦是瘦,有肌肉。
88、唯女人与英语难过也,唯老婆与工作难找也!
89、伤害人的东西有三种:烦恼,争吵,空的钱包。其中最伤人的是空钱包。
90、开车无难事,只怕有新人!
91、与人争执时,退一步海阔天空;追女友时,退一步人去楼空。
92、听说女人如衣服,兄弟如手足。回想起来,我竟然七手八脚的裸奔了20年
93、我是个演员,一看见漂亮mm眼就圆…
94、上帝欲使人灭亡,必先使其疯狂;上帝欲使人疯狂,必先使其买房。
95、天塌下来你顶着,我垫着,呵呵……
96、易拉罐拉环爱着易拉罐,可易拉罐心里装着可乐!
97、不做下一个谁,做第一个我。
98、宁愿相信世间有鬼,也不相信男人那张破嘴!
99、今天一群曰本人来我校参观——说实话,这是我第一次看到穿衣服的曰本人!
100、念了十几年书,还是幼儿园比较好混!

June 16th, 2008 | Leave a Comment

沪市,沪市,我是菜市!

之一

时    间:6月10日
震    中:中国股市
震    级:上海7.73级,深圳8.25级
经济损失:直接经济损失将上万亿,间接经济损失无法估计
人员损失:将超过3亿人受灾
救援情况:无任何人道主义救援或捐赠
社会影响:无法估计
原    因:银行准备金率大幅上调,油价暴涨,美股暴跌,越南经济危机,大盘股发行重启,中国南方水灾隐患……
目前有1亿多股民埋在废墟中,1000多只股票已经没有生命迹象,政府号召散户保持情绪稳定,安心躺在废墟里等救援队

之二

今天,是1亿多股民埋在股市废墟中的第二天,72小时黄金救援时间所剩已不多,大多数股民没有生命迹象了,少数股民还有细小的呼救声。令管 理层感动的是,废墟下还断断续续传出股民"心若在,梦就在,大不了从头再来!"的微弱歌声。股民的家属都焦急地围在各交易所门前,急切盼望政府救援队的到 来!

之三:

“沪市,沪市,我是深市,我方损失惨重,收到请回答,收到请回答……”
“深市,深市,我是沪市,我方已全部阵亡,这是自动留言,无需回答……”
“沪市沪市…..深市深市……我是菜市我是菜市,我们这里涨个不停啊。”

June 13th, 2008 | Leave a Comment

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